My boyfriend is very successful, with a high-profile job in finance. He’s very romantic, and I felt I’d found “the one.” However, he has cheated on previous girlfriends, is unusually protective of his phone around me, and otherwise acts secretively. For example: He began disappearing for three hours on Wednesday nights. He didn’t return any texts, which is unlike him. He claimed he was at “therapy,” forgetting he’d told me he instead uses life coaches at his job. Another example: I stopped over one morning and saw remains of a pizza and a dainty box of sparkly champagne gummy bears (not exactly a man’s snack). After I called him on these incidents, he began texting me periodically on Wednesday nights and stockpiling cheap drugstore gummies, which he eats when I’m over. He has angrily denied he’s seeing other women and refuses to discuss it further. I’m in love with him, and I want to believe him.
– Benefit of the Doubt?
Believing you’ve found love has a dark side: wanting to keep believing. The most outrageous claims can take on an air of plausibility, like when your friend tells you she spotted your boyfriend licking some woman’s tattoo, and he angrily insists he was saving somebody dying of snake bite – uh, in Midtown Manhattan.